It is interesting how we indoctrinate our children with principles, values and beliefs that have played a part in our growing up. We unintentionally transfer our trauma by offering guidance that we believe is a strategy to overcome what we have once dealt with.

How do we teach our children to deal with pain?

Do we tell them to move away from those who hurt us or confront it?

No way is perfect however, the guidance given by parents most times stem from their own ordeals or orientation from those before them.

I sit at a party watching parents and children interact and I begin to see dynamics and patterns which could be as a result of the current moment or a passed down experience. What does this mean to me? I ponder and ask myself realizing I too will find myself in those same shoes of the parents who I saw interacting with their kids, guiding them through the approach to their fun filled escapades of their toddler lives. How do I want to guide my children? Do I advise based on how my experiences have shaped me or what I have been told? As I reflect on this, I soon realize there’s only one way to help me in figuring out how I would guide my children and that is the Bible -communing with God. 

I tell myself if my children are going through something, I will tell them all the sides to it that I know but, let them know what the Bible says and the leading of the Holy Spirit is the best way to go.

There’s something about the early years of a child, they are the programming years where you input values that roots them into where and how you want them to go. The wrong input could lead to exactly that the “wrong output”. So for life so fragile yet so powerful I have come to realize I need to pay attention to the early years praying for God’s direction on the right input so that I program kids who live out a life of purpose. More than that is fulfilling their assignment trusting God through it all.

Although, early years are powerful, it’s never too late to take a step back to reassess things, input wisely and program oneself to live out a better life. It starts right now!

From the Desk of Mary Elebijo

© Mary Elebijo